We share these ideas with you because we want these two weeks to be a wonderful experience for you and your host family.  Consideration, sensitivity, and understanding on BOTH sides will provide many happy memories.

Welcome!

We are delighted that you have chosen to be a part of the Christmas International House (CIH) program and we welcome you to our community!  Since you will become a member of an American family for these two weeks, here are a few hints for establishing a good relationship.

First Contact

If your host family contacts you before you leave your university, be sure to ask them about the people living in their home.  This will show that you are interested in them and it will also make your first meeting a little easier.  If you will be meeting them for the first time in an airport or bus terminal, ask what they look like and be sure to tell them what you look like, too!

Introductions

It is proper in American society to firmly shake hands with both the men and the women to whom you are introduced.  Look the person in the eye and say, “I am pleased to meet you.”  If you want to introduce yourself to someone, extend your hand and say, “Hello, I am.……..”  Many Americans like to hug as a form of greeting.  If you are not comfortable with this, quickly extend your hand for a handshake.

Sense of Time

For the most part, Americans are punctual people.  Do not arrive any earlier than the agreed upon time, and do not arrive any more than ten minutes late.  Always try to be exactly on time! 

If you have arranged to meet someone at a specific time, but find that you will be more than 15 minutes late or that your plans have changed, call and let them know as soon as possible!  It is rude to accept an invitation when you do not plan to attend the event.  It is better to say, “No, Thank you” than to let others think you will be participating when you already know that you will not.

Sharing Yourself

A few photos of your family, house, city, or school, are easy ways to share yourself with your host.  You may be the only person from your country that your host will ever meet, so be prepared to explain your country’s holidays, history, current events, religion, and culture.

Some students give their host a small gift from their country.  A small figurine, a box of tea, a piece of batik, or anything else typical of your country would be appreciated and is a nice way for the host to remember your time together.  Hosts are aware of students’ budgets and would be embarrassed to receive an expensive gift.

Topics of Discussion

Americans do not discuss their age, weight, salaries, the cost of their possessions, and why they have or do not have children.  Please do not jeopardize your relationship with them by asking for their help on personal legal matters or by discussing your financial difficulties. If your host hesitates or raises an eyebrow, change the subject!

It is important that you understand what is being said to you.  If you don’t understand something, ask the speaker to repeat what was said until you do understand. Americans are usually very patient and will keep explaining with hand motions and drawings until you understand.

Religion

Most of the CIH Hosts are active Christians and will probably invite you to go with them to their worship service or other church function.  This is an extension of them including you in their normal family activities and you are encouraged to go with them.  However, if you are not comfortable in participating, you may say that you are not interested or that you have a different religion that you want to honor.  If you feel pressured, talk to your CIH program coordinator about the situation. 

In the Home

Smoking:  Most hosts do not smoke and may not allow it in and around their home.  Be sure to check with your host BEFORE you smoke!

Children: Children are very accepting of people who are different and are a ready audience for stories about your homeland, or learning how to say Hello and Goodbye in your native language.  The parents will appreciate your interest in their children and will enjoy watching you interact with them as long as you don’t break family rules such as bedtimes and rough play in the house. 

Meals:  Dinner is usually a time of conversation and each person may share about their day, current events, or their plans for the next day.

Use utensils however you are used to using, but watch and see how Americans use them, too.  Fried chicken, hamburgers, pizza, sandwiches and French fries are eaten with the hands. 

Some foods may be new to you.  If you don’t know what something is, ask what it is, where it comes from, and how it was prepared.  Take a small portion to taste it – you may find a new favorite food!

Americans are fairly self-sufficient and if they tell you to “help yourself” to second helpings, feel free to do so, but do so cautiously.  Don’t take unusually large portions and clean up any mess that you make. 

If you are able to do some cooking that is traditional in your country, suggest it to your host.  Be sure to leave the kitchen as clean as you found it!

Chores:  In most families, chores are distributed among all the family members.  Be aware of what others do and feel free to ask what you can do.  Many Americans would welcome help in preparing the meal, cleaning up after eating, taking out the trash, raking the yard, or shoveling snow.  Remember that this is a cultural experience for you, too, so even if you are not used to doing any of these things at home, try it for these two weeks.  

Extra Time

The CIH Program expects you to participate in all  CIH group activities and any activities that your host arranges for you.  If there are no activities planned, you are welcome to spend some time alone in your room to rest, write letters, read, or study.  Relax in the common living area, find a family member to talk to, or offer your help in whatever they are doing.  You are encouraged, though, to participate in family activities.  You will learn more about American Family life and the Hosts will learn more about your culture.

If there is a large amount of free time in the program and you want to go shopping or go to a movie with other CIH students, be sure that this does not interfere with your host’s plans before you make arrangements.  Do not expect your host to pay for or provide transportation for these personal activities.

Even though you may have non-CIH friends or family in the community you are visiting, your first priority is to the CIH program and to your host family.  Keep your personal plans to a minimum and do not arrange anything that conflicts with CIH or Host activities!  Boyfriends and Girlfriends should understand that you will not be able to spend much time with them.  You have been invited to be a part of a family and their home is not a hotel for you to use while you make your own plans!  

HAVE  FUN!